Hi guys! i just dont know, feels like wanna type my story my feelings here tonight. Its been a long time i didnt active in my bloggg so here i am back again ok? I just wanna share. that i am so pissed off. im so fucking tired with myself. i was putting too much hopes and efforts to him :( but at the end. it was just wasted mayn. im so tired with this. i keep crying all night. if i keep thinking about this and i will cry automatically... haih :'((( my life such a mess doh. i taktahu nak fikir apa dah sekarang. apa yang kawan kawan i cakap, semua i dah buat. and at the end still the same. we are in so damn complicated relationship. what the fuck doh i takleh brain dah apa nak buat. 

If i tanya dia tu ni apa masalah i yg i tak puas hati en. Nanti dia cakap i overthinking tau. Then bila i takcakap, dia mengadu kt my friend yang i ni simpan simpan masalah i. But bila dah cakap?!!!! Faham tak perasaan dia cane. Cam bodoh tau. Bila diri sendiri letak efforts yg banyak gila babi, dia layan cam taik ah :'((((( Sedih like fak doh taktipu ah. Dulu efforts dia letak kat relationship ni banyak gila. He called me pretty, babygirl, princess before. Now? i dont put all fault on him but i just saying all of these are from him. Can he layan me like before? Setiap hari tak bercakap like u know, even selisih or bersebelah 1 inch je langsung tkbertegur. Takkan asyik aku je nak tegur dia dulu? Like omg i got my feelings too doh. First day sem 3. i was the one who was so excited pergi kereta dia lambai lambai tanya apa semua. All he did was smiles :') Thanks thankyou so much for that. 

I love him so much, with all my heart. But he just.... mayn i lost. i dont have any words for this. he said he didnt want we ended like me and my ex before. He promised me to fight and work on this relationship... but i just taknampak pun yg dia nak "work on" this relationship. He put his friends at the first place okay takpe i takkisah pun pasal tu. But, at least fikirlah u dah ada gf and buat cara ada gf :'( im so sad doh i taktipuuu. Kalau u dah tak sayang i dah tak ada perasaan kat i, do tell me earlier please. Dont torture my feelings lke this. I dont like it :'(((((( Biarlah sakitttttt nak terima if u chose to stay sbb u got no reasons to lepaskan i . I know but its okay. rather than u torture diri i macam ni sampai bila? You fikir i tak jelaous ke dgn kawan kawan i yg berjaya in their relationship? Ingat i boleh rileks je ke? OMG cmonn lah i want us. I WANT US LIKE BEFORE. Like before sem 2 ended.